Finally our goal became the beginning of the construction area where the bike trail turns onto an actual street. The street is a big up hill road, so we procrastinated that a long time.

Becca and I really were soooo hot one day, and ran out of water, that we climbed down the hill and got stuck in the creek. It felt so good though. We refilled our water bottle a few times and dumped it over our heads several times throughout that ride.

The boys (If you're new to my life, 'the boys' are Malachai, my four year old son, and Marcus, my 4 year old nephew) like to throw rocks into the creek from the bridge.

I think that's right near 154th, anyway it made for a 2.5 mile trip from my house, one way. That was huge. So Huge. But such an accomplishment.

We went home everyday in the beginning, telling everyone how far we'd rode, they didn't belive us, I mean they DID believe us, but it was so far. They were impressed.

The bike trail (as long as you go East from here) stays pretty level though, so it's easier to ride. There's bumps in the path, inclines, etc. But once you get going, your forward momentum gets you over the humps.

Finally we took the turn one day, and started venturing further. The bike trail actually just about connects with 181st and Powell, so we could in essence ride it to the turn to Becca's house. that's kind of neat! We need a good matching North South trail though.

Venturing even further in another trip, we made it to downtown Gresham, and collapsed in a cemetary lol. How fitting is that? We were through. Dad road down the street a bit further while Becca and I lay in the grass in the cemetary lifeless. He brought us back Orange Juice and pastries, that got us moving again, all the way to a local bar. We sat there and ate dinner, and then.. road all the way home... Phew, big accomplishments.

I went shopping a few weeks ago, and I learned the hard way that size 28 has pretty much disappeared. That's my size. I used to go into Walmart even and find myself welcomed by an array of jeans.

They just aren't there anymore. You're lucky to find a 26. There were a few 25's in the LEI's. But nothing in my size.

So I was depressed that I couldn't find anything that fit me, my best friend in the entire world and I went to the mall. To Layne Bryant, Debb, and all those stores that serve big girls. And I was even to fat for those stores. Strange that they also only cater to people up to the same size as Walmart.

I was so depressed OMG.

Amber was with me, and I love her. In that moment, at every fat girl store in the mall, nothing fit me, you can only face that with your best friend. As only a best friend could, she suggested the the maternity shop.

Nobody else could have suggested that, there I was able to buy jeans, in size 3x, with the stretchy prego girl tops. They fit me.

I cried.

So a light at the end of the tunnel. . .

I got an email from The Avenue. Sizes up to 32.

I'm so happy to see this email, I can't wait till i have the extra cash. I just have one question Avenue, as my new hero, the store that carries my size.. Why are all the models size 14 and under. Id really like to shop online after that last horrific experience, but clothes that look good on a size 14 aren't going to go well with my saggy stomach.

It's funny how the line seems to move sometimes. How what was good and OK seemed to be starkly apparent, and then little by little it changes.

As we grow older, our convictions seem to collide. Have you ever noticed that? There was a time when I really thought of prostitutes as beneath me, beneath everyone. Bottom of the bottom. I judged them unmercifully.

I'd heard the reasoning that these women needed to feed their children. Fair enough I thought, get jobs, get welfare, quit sellin' your ass. One day something changed all that. My best best friend was arrested for prostitution. Isn't that just crazy? Here's something more. She lived with me, she went to work with me, she ate with me.

The only time my friend wasn't with me, was when I was asleep, and she was 'walking the track'. I didn't know what walking the track was at the time. But I later took a shot at writing her biography. Or at least helping her blog it ;).

She eventually lost interest, and her blog lost traffic, and the posts pretty much disappeared, lost in a database somewhere, but inaccessible from the wordpress blog software that lives there.

Crazy huh.

So my best friend was a hooker, and i thought she was as disgusting as I'd always thought all hookers were. But wait what?!. I loved her only weeks before, now here she is, alone in jail, extradited to another state for guess what, an old prostitution charge.. and .. I just walk away?

Now you know I can't do that.

It's sort of like the first time I ever shoplifted... well as an adult..

It was tax refund season, I had thousands to spend, and really no direction in my life. I filled a cart to the brim. Just random things really. All those things a teenage mom might want to buy for her children, but really never be able to.

Clothes, and sun tan lotion, and mega packs of diapers, a stroller. The cart overflowed with random things. My little girl needed to use a restroom, so we walked to the back of the store all those years ago, to the only bathroom in the K Mart.. It was filthy, and she refused to use it.

I was irritated after walking all the way back there, now I would need to walk all the way to the front of the store, and why do stores always have such nasty restrooms? Wanting them to know that their restroom was disgustingly filthy, i made a quick stop at the customer service desk.

I'd been going to this mall for years and years, I knew where every store was, I could navigate the employee halls in fact. But I asked the her anyway "Ma'am, is there another restroom? Yours is so filthy that even my little girl refuses to use it."

She of course directed me out of the store, and into the main mall, down the hall just a touch to the mall restrooms. I took my daughter to the family restroom, we both peed, and then...

It dawned on me. I brought the cart. It felt like my heart had stopped. Surely there are security guards outside of the door. Surely I'm moments from going to jail. There's no way that anyone is going to believe that I didn't mean to steal the things in the cart. That I was just irritated by the dirty bathroom.

I gave my daughter a great big hug. Opened one of the treats in the cart, and gave it to her. and then.. I opened the door.

Outside of that restroom door was.. the mall. Just the way you would expect to see it. Full of people, busy, bright, and welcoming.

I had a choice to make here, and I of course made the easy choice. I walked straight out the mall doors to my car, and loaded all of the things from the cart to the car with no bags.

This particular mall is on an island, for my own piece of mind, i wish that little thought had crossed my mind a touch sooner.